Playfully Yours

Why The Holistic Approach Can Be Scary

Playfully Yours

Why The Holistic Approach Can Be Scary

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When I have flow-versations with people, they can easily tell me what they would like to see or have. Often times, it’s some physical form or manifestation of something.

Like, a more regular cycle. 

A baby.

A daughter who’s confident in herself.

Healthy pregnancy.

Get my health in order.

But, then as soon as you may mention Mental, Emotional or Spiritual aspects playing a role, they clam up.

That’s my cue that I struck a nerve.

So, I wait a few seconds…sometimes more.

Then they may come around.

And, sometimes not. 

That’s ok with me, because she may not be ready or may not want to discuss with me or whatever the case may be. (Side note: I don’t get hung up or the reason…it just is.)

All I can say is that when you’re desiring a long term effect, you’ve gotta think about all aspects of the “holistic” approach.

Because you’re a Whole Being, you have these parts of you.

When you only focus on one aspect (let’s use Physical for sake of ease), then we can, and will, get to some point of change. But, what about helping it stick?

Let’s explore an example, shall we?

Tina (totally random name, btw!) comes in and says she has a history of PCOS and lot of stress going on. She wants to have a better experience in her PCOS where they are more consistent and bleeding is to 3-5 days long. Ideally, she wants to have a healthy pregnancy, birth and baby.

If we focused on the Physical aspect, we’d throw in some herbs here, some supplements there. Let’s sprinkle in some recommended physical movement based on her type of PCOS. And, let’s not forget about food…let’s go with a food regimen that matches her type and help to nourish her digestive system to accept the nutrients coming from her food.

Sounds pretty good, right?

It does! And, it is!

But, guess what we learn along the way?

Being consistent in the food therapy recommendations is a challenge.


Weeellll…after bringing up what I’d noticed with the consistency, I learn there is a history of patterns with food. Such as, eating when stressed (hey, didn’t she come in with that already?) and periods of overeating and then not eating.

Also, learned she’s hyper-critical of eating because of the feedback that was given growing up, like finishing your plate before leaving the table or hearing comments like, “you’re eating like a pig.”

So what does this mean?

Looks like we actually need to address these issues along the way!

One may think it’s easy to sweep it under the rug and plug through it, but it would be a disservice in the long run.

Without addressing this, we have someone who not only has an unhealthy relationship with themselves, but with food and possibly with the people those comments were coming from.

Viewing food as a source of medicine and health is most definitely skewed for her. This leads to eating patterns that are disruptive to the very same hormones that we’re seeking to harmonize. 

And, if she’s looking to have a healthy pregnancy and breastfeeding, she’s not able to adopt the concept of food as a source of energy and nutrients that her baby will be looking for and for milk production.

Then, she’ll rely on supplements and not eating well or not at all and expecting different results.

So you see how this works?

We definitely took care of the Physical aspect, but to really progress for long-term, the Mental and Emotional Aspects needed to be addressed.

This can be very scary for many people, because of some key things:

  • You’re scared of what may happen
    • Taking into consideration all of these aspects, you may have to address some deep or hidden wounds that have been with you for a while. Think things like abuse or trauma or patterns of belief. Now, I believe it’s not completely necessary to bring these to consciousness to “heal” from them (that’s a whole other topic, but if you’re interested, check these guys out.)
    • When you begin to question what you’ve been used to, it can frightening; however, with some guidance, it can be relieving.
    • Relieving in that these hurts and wounds no longer have control over you. Your habitual-based subconscious becomes disrupted as you create a new pattern of feeling and thinking that is in alignment with what you’d actually like to experience in your life. You’ve moved in to a place of creating where things are no longer being done TO you, but things are being done FOR you.
  • You’re scared of who may leave
    • As you venture into what comes up for you and where adjustments need to be made Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually, people who you’re used to having around may not fit anymore. So now you’re left wondering, “Who is going to do x,y,z with me?” or “Who is going to understand me now?”
    • This can definitely be nerve-wracking! It’s already tough enough to have genuine relationships with social media. But is it? As you’re changing, having support in your relationships with others will help you continue in your evolution and to sustain the changes you’re looking to make.
    • There are definitely ways to create new relationships that mesh with this version of you: groups found on Facebook, LinkedIn, Meetup, etc. are great ways to search by characteristics of people you’re vibin’ with now.
    • And, don’t forget that some people of your current relationships may actually be happy and excited for this new version of you! There may be some adjustment period needed as they become familiar with your needs and boundaries, but they’ll get it as long as you’re communicating those to them.
  • You’re scared of who you may become
    • Left this one for last because it’s a doozy! I love Dr. Joe Dispenza  who really hammers this point. If you’re desiring something else for yourself, including the life you’d like to live, you must let go of the version of you that is now. You’re making room for the new version of you. 
    • Imagine a tree. Parts of this tree must die in order for the new branches and leaves to grow. Along the way of its growth and development, it’s changing to match the current state of its environment. 
    • You notice the branches start reaching out to the side that gets the most sun or you notice the roots begin expanding their reach to get more nutrients.
    • Who you become is a more Consciously Created You! What’s even cooler about this is that as you move into your True Self, you’ll see your cycle change along the way. It becomes smoother and transitions throughout the Cycle happen better. Why does it do it this? Well, your Cycle is really a manifestation of what’s going on with you Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually.

As you can see, with each of these circumstances that can be scary, there is some freshness, newness, power in what happens as you go through it moving closer to Becoming your True Self.

Having someone along the way who can guide you and even help draw some connections of patterns for you in order to help you express your Whole Being can be extremely helpful. Holding the loving, non-judgmental space as you evolve can be extremely powerful.

As you incorporate a Holistic approach to your evolution, whether it’s for your overall health and well-being or goal to have a healthy cycle or vision of having a healthy pregnancy and birth, trust that your process is your process. 

There is no “right” time and there is no “right” way of doing it.

It is uniquely your journey and having the support you need and want is here.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

One of my most favorite and treasured things about what I do in working with girls, teens and women is that I get to witness this evolution.

Taking part of something so sacred and meaningful to her is something I greatly appreciate and honor.

So, you see, the Holistic approach isn’t scary…it’s inviting and welcoming.

Inviting you to Be your Authentic Self – welcome Home.

Playfully Yours


P.S. What are you most excited about when considering taking the Holistic approach in your journey? Let me know below!

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De’Nicea Hilton

De’Nicea creates Playful Healing Spaces for your Spirit, Mind and Body as a consultant, Doctor of Oriental Medicine and podcaster! Women feel safe and comforted working with De’Nicea as she navigates her Personal Healing Journey with Clarity, Compassion and Consciousness.

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